i miss you...

Last night i said goodbye to Hui Zhi.










She left for the UK, her final year of study. But she says if she can, she wont come back. I'll miss her. The old high school friend that, no matter after how many months of not meeting up, its still totally alright when we do. I can just be me, without starting from scratch as i have been with many people of late. No questions, just conversation. She understands me, and i understand her. Sigh. Dunno why so emo about it, not like its the first friend that's flown off. Maybe cause of the 4members our old Saturday Taman Zaaba Badminton/Breakfast Gang, i'm the only one left. Thankfully i managed to spend the last few hours before she left with her. Sharing Secret Recipe cake. Getting gossip updates. Asking for advice. Helping her pack last minute things. Searching for the keys to the lock on her bag that she fastened less than an hour beforehand. Hunting for her KDU Transcript which was lost forever. In those short hours that sped by, i regreted not spending more time with her during the other holidays i've had. Regrets are pointless though. Pointless. Which is why its fine to cry to sleep instead- cause there's nothing else you can do, really. *shrugs*

My take on friends? Cant find the same kind of friends now as the ones you had back in school. Maybe this mentality is holding me back from actually forming that sorta friendship, but... i dunno. Uni can be pretty sad, without the kinda friend that you know will always be there. Call you for lunch. Walk with you to class. I mean, i go for lecture and after it everyone zooms off in all directions. *poof!* Gone. Li Yee is always the other end of the world. Chris has his own life. Besides Suria, i dunno if i've actually made any proper friends. Not just the lepak lepak- haha kind, but ones that, i'll actually miss when apart. Even in PKA, i cant claim to have created any strong bonds. Okay-okay got la, but thats about it.

Tonight someone told me "i bet you dont want your week to end, but i just cant wait till this week is over." There was a reason behind that statement, something totally understandable and completely acceptable. However, hearing that, I felt like a balloon that has a small hole in it, and all my energy, excitement and joy just got squeezed outta that hole until its a deflated pile wilth traces of the smiley face still visible, but not as it was before. Or maybe the hole is my imagination, and the balloon is still balloon-like. Again, its just my mind playing tricks on me, evil thing. Will it result in waterworks? i hope not. It shouldnt. Its nothing. But i know when i talk to God about it, i probably will.

i think i'll go watch tv for now.