Picture Past

Absolutely love looking at this wall...Since i was young, these pictures have hung there. Its of my grandparents (first 2) all my uncles and one aunt according to age... Its like peeping into the past.

Oh, with an ugly present sitting just below.

(See the green paint showing through the cream? Me and my cousins kopek-ed it off when we were much younger... =p )

<------- Me and mummy





I am my father's daughter

Not on the Pulau of Penang

I'm in Butterworth at the moment...!
Using Daniel Looi's comp. Oh the joys of Streamyx...
Why am i here?
I decided to go back to Sabak Bernam straight (its where my grandparents are, kampung in the Northern area of Selangor, almost into Perak) but by the time i went to buy the bus ticket, only had ONE last bus on Thursday, ONE seat left...Phewph! Bought it la... 11.30am, means i'm skipping 2 classes...sigh- oh well, what to do? The joy of my grandparents seeing their grandchild is way more important than two silly classes... =p

From Penang there are very few bus services that go there, only from Butterworth actually. Daniel is back home in Butterworth. SO my brilliant plan, stay over at his place and he'll send me to the station tmr morning...Feel bad cause his sister insists i share bed with her...I'm just fine on the sofa man...
Quite tired now actually...well, had a packed day from 11am till 10pm. Classes and classes and classes

OH YEAH! Bout 3pm, The GirL bumps into me along the corridor and said "Oh, so lucky to see you here (yeah right, bet you would rather visit the dentist) . Actually Coach was asking if you wanted to join MASUM...Its on the 4th-5th of Feb. Come for training later ya..." WHAT ? In my mind i'm like torn between joy and frustration, why tell me so late?
Anways, said i'll go talk to the coach later and explain i'm going back holiday...etc...

When i got to the stadium, and met him, i found out that he told The GirL more than a week ago...And she tells me only today just cause so happen to bump into her...I've decided not to let her get to me lah, just accept that she's got something stuck up where the sun dont shine...

The final verdict is, i wont be going for MASUM. Sadly, cause its like something i'd really really really wanna do. I know myself, i'm not prepared enough yet and he wanted me to do 800m (Wha' the... - is he nuts?!?)
Oops, forgot to say, MASUM is the inter-Uni athletics meet...
Bet its gonna be great. No worries la, i've got other opportunities to come i'm sure (crosses fingers)
Kay, wont hog the com or be a rude guest.

TOT Ke-32

1st Day
Went for the opening ceremony, dunno why but there's just something in me that loves these things. Watching the march in, all the mascots...Especially the bang, army from Kedah came had bagpipes ! Very nice to listen too...
Anyways, my 400m event, i was dreading- supposed to be heats at 3.20pm but due to not enough participants, straight away finals at 4.30pm...Groan, all ready and then potong stim.Nevermind, went back to wait and calm nerves.
When the time finally came, about 5pm by then- i was in a couldn't be bothered-nervous-freaked out mood.
For those that's been on the race track, you know how the starting always is.
When you walk to the line, and he says :

Ke-garisan..........(pause that lasts forever).............
.................Se-dia.................
*Bang*

I got 4th place, which is alright i guess...Problem is i feel disappointed, cause i let 3rd place slip outta my hands. Sucks man the feeling, and after the last bend, last 100m or so- i was trying to tell my self to just go on, go! But my legs refused, and could do no more...Sigh. The pain and tiredness set in edi.
Disappointed.
My one consolation is that i lost to: 1. A super darn good, real-Mat Salleh 2.USM team runner
No matter, there was still the next day to "look forward" to.

2nd Day
Woke to a phone call asking me "Shelby where are you??" In my room la...why? "THe GirL is looking for you, said something about the 200meter event" I said, can't be, i'm not running for that- must be a mix up. Moments later The GirL calls and demands to know where i am, and why i'm not in the stadium yet...I'm like, cause my event is much later on..She then goes on to say "Didn't you know about the 200m? (what the-) Its starting soon already, where are you?"
G a h !

Stupid GirL, she really knows how to get under my skin...Since the begining i told her i'm better at short distances, but NO , puts me in 400...then she takes away my 4x100m, Fine...But to call and act like i was supposed to know about another event, that was NEVER told to me, and one i would MUCH have prefered... In the end, since i wasn't ready and it was too late anyway, she says nevermind la, dont be late for your other event.
Only my room mate knows how fed up i was...Suria even asked me to show her who the GirL was thats causing all this nonsense.

Later in the evening, my event was the second last of all events, was just telling myself to get it over and done with. So when discussing which order to run it, i said i'll be last, and out next best runner first. In a way thankfully, because when the race started, and by the time i got the baton, we were in the last position, and the leader was only about 50m behind lapping us.
SIGH

Nevermind, i'm proud of my team girls, since they didnt give up or faint.
i got the baton, and i just ran...

Its so hard to describe what goes on while you're running, and being last place all alone- everything seems dim and blur, the people around and the sounds...I mean, i could hear the cheering but it was as if it were coming from a great distance... The voice in my head and my own thoughts were amplified
Only once i got closer to the girl ahead of me did i dare to even consider overtaking her...
Once i got round the last bend, as dramatic as it may sound, i told myself "I will NOT be last"

From there, i dunno how or where it came from, but i had the strength to overtake her and not lose speed... I have Saujana's cheering squat to thank as well, and whoever else that cheered, cause it makes you feel like, you dowanna fail them.
But i did it, i maintained till the end, i did not get last place...
My legs were jelly after that, and i had to sit a long while before i was alright to walk about.
I was very satisfied, not disappointed.

My teammate said "I'm sorry Shelby"
I semi scolded her back "What sorry ?! Dont be silly, we did it, we finished- half the other teams didn't even join.Be proud of that"
Something to remember hor...


****OH MY GOODNESS- as i was typing that last line a guy came up to me and asked if i saw a watch lying around nearby, he lost his watch...Said sorry i didnt see it- then he asked me where i was from, and my race , and my name ...ARGHhHH! Icky man...Not only that, he went on to ask for my contact number, like, HELLO?!? And i tried to hint to him no way, but he didnt get it...Idiot. In the end i gave him BUT he heard me say 013 so THANKFULLY he got it wrong, and of course i didnt correct him...Please help, what do i do if/when this happens again...
Icky!!!! Not as if he was even decent looking- sleazy cow...Yuck yuck, and i had to shake his hand twice... YUCK*****

Half Time

Its literally half time during the Man U- Liverpool match

Am at Khaleel watching with fellow Reds supporter Chris. No goal on either side so far...
Sungguh meng-kan cheong-i-fying
We poped up to check mail and waste 15mins...hahaha

Will write about TOT another time, as 15mins will hardly do my 2days experience justice.
Lets just say that the weekend has been of ups and downs.

i can finally rest.

May the team that plays better win!

PTPTN

Student loan is finally in!
Last night Suria was overjoyed when she told me the news, as are all of us because our money from the previous sem has become dangerously low...Sucks as want to buy books or materials and have to use own money first. I know it all balances out in the end, but still, i'd rather not use the money my mom's giving me if i can help it.

So, due to yesterday's happy event, today, the que for the ATM machine was extra extra long...Could tell that everyone was kering and desperate for $$$. I've got Rm10 in my wallet, that'll last me i hope, i couldn't be bothered to go and join the long line, and i bet the machine is gonna be empty by evening.

TOT is coming nearer and nearer...I'm SOOOOOOO peeved at the Girl in charge of training Saujana's girls. I really think she doesn't like me. On Tuesday, i didn't go for training, i decided to go for CG Bible Study instead...Yesterday when i went, i arrived late (i had class until 6pm rushed back,changed,went) I walk up to her and the girl said "Oh, you're going for class isit?" When i told her no, i'm here for training, she gets all "Why so late? We finished edi..blah..blah" Explained that i had late class, and she gives me a look [that rhymes with witchy]...Then she says that "oh, you're not in 4x100 anymore, you didnt come and i chose yesterday"

DANG! Thats my fav. event.. *sob sob* The thing is, when i told my friend that, she told me "No lah, where got...She didnt choose anyone yesterday also" [at that moment strong feelings of dislike welled up]

She walks of with the 4x100-ers and leaves me alone there, dunno what the heck to do, the other 400m girls weren't around. I felt so not wanted. Thankfully, USM's coach was there, and he's super nice- talked to me abit and told me what i had to do...
Man, i cannot do 400m to save my life, by the 300m line i'm already gasping for breath, and feel like dying. I really dread this weekend- at least with the 4x100 i had something to look forward to, but now...
sigh
Very disappointed- i remember since primary school i was involved in athletics, and always in the 4x100m. Its like...my thing... Bah humbug
Thats life i guess
This is a post full of my rants and raves...Hopefully get it outta my system.

But its not, its totally spoilt TOT for me

Run!

What a tiring weekend!
Most of it involved running
Yesterday i was my fun day out, so wanted to go watch Pride and Prejudice...
Took a mini bus (ran to catch it) to Prangin Mall (Komtar) and discovered the stupid Mega Pavilion cinema was NOT showing it...
Gah! Moaned, groaned and blamed it on the Penang people...Muahahaha- they not interested in classics and wouldn't appreciate it. Thanks to Aaron and Joshua the Ugly- found out there was a movie on in Gurney Plaze at 3.10pm... Looked at watch- 2.29pm...we had 40 minutes
Shelby says : We CAN make it !
Daniel said : You cant make it!

R U N!

Hah! After a sprint down the 5floors and hopping onto the first bus we saw, our hopes were dashed when the driver refused to budge until he had a FULL load of passengers, so there went our precious minutes, ticking away.
After everything, got to the Gurney stop at 3.10 and we ran to the place, up the 5floors again (why are cinema's always on the top floor?) But got stuck on the 3rd floor behind this irritating couple that HAD to hold each other and be all lovey dovey...Yuck! Not like we were quiet running up the escalators... As if one would die if parted for 10seconds.. (rolls eyes)
Well, got there and the ticket lady was nice about it, thankfully still had seats that weren't too bad- got in and i'm sure we missed less than 5minutes of it.

WAS GRINNING LIKE A BLOODY FOOL 90% OF THE MOVIE !
Lucky didn't watch it with mom, or she'll laugh at me.
But yeah, its good, if you like classics (and i do) you'll enjoy it for sure. Went to MPH to buy the book but they were sold out of that title. Nevermind- USM library tomorrow i shall go.

Today, our first practice on track using spike shoes... Pretty cool, we each were given a pair to train with. My gosh, the events i'm in are madness: 400meters, 4x100m and 4x400m
Die. . . But i had such a great time training, feeling the pain- running till you think your lungs are gonna burst... Kinda malu though, cause there's a girl that trains under the USM team-so she's darn good. Anyway, she's in charge of us girls, and i feel like a turtle next to her.
But feel good physically, like i'm getting back into shape.

Ooh, took some silly pics outside Gurney- once i get them from Jethro,i shall upload (if i'm lucky)

Blood Donation

Today i did something dumb.
So very dumb, but me being hero think i can do it all...

I donated blood, and bout 2hours later went for my athletics training...

There was no way i was gonna miss donating blood.
There was no way i was gonna miss going training.

Makes sense what...And i figure they always caution you to take it easy after donating, just simply only. Well, today i felt the effects. After bout an hour i had a horrible feeling in my body, that i needed to just sit down...Then the puking feeling. At that point i took a time out..Which was good cause a few people commented that my face was very pucat and my lips were all white. Thats not good...Usually i'm as red as a tomato, so being white was bad.
Thing is i hate looking like some sorry person that couldn't keep up with the rest.
As if i'm giving up, but i'm not!
But i did feel like crap, and at that moment didnt care what i looked like.

Go donate blood ! Help save a life...

Friends

(finally could be uploaded after ages of waiting)

Selamat Hari Raya Qurban

Save the cows! Eat chicken!

12 noon
Last night, Suria and I decided to close our curtains, not set any alarms and just get up when out body naturally does…I rarely get this luxury as I have an irritating, consistent internal alarm that’ll get me up no matter what. But got up 2hours earlier than her anyway, read some of the next book I’m supposed to study, The Catcher in the Rye.

Everything’s shut here, due to the public holiday, later gotta walk down to Khaleel, sigh; blazing hot sun- not a cloud in the sky.

In my efforts to try and make my classmates a friendlier bunch, I’m making a name list with our contact numbers to give everyone. Hope they’ll appreciate it, but uni is so different from school. This simple act was once common and natural; but here no one seems to be bothered about anything. Well, there’s less than 40 of us, and these faces will be seen for the next 2+ years…So why not try and be a happy bunch of ELLS-ers? =p

Yesterday evening, first time ever me and my Yee Lye went to use the badminton courts…Kay, firstly never using it before, didn’t know the procedure and the front desk dude not knowing this, barely lifted an eyebrow when we arrived. So I’m like glancing around dunno what to do. Secondly, we had no shuttlecock… Kekeke, I know, what idiot goes without shuttlecocks? So we were scavengers and found a really sad, half naked one to use. The worst thing of the whole game was a guy was in the court next to us, and he was being a moron. “Are you White?” (what the hell?!?) “Amoi, come la- lets play doubles…For fun only, come la! Play la!” Finally he and his bunch left and he was all “Bye, I’m going now…” GAH! Do guys really have no shame ar? Its bloody irritating AND makes me despise that kind…Also, because of them, it then makes me cautious when dealing with guys, cause they just might be the idiotic kind as stated above. But anyways…Sweat like mad, laughed like mad and played bad badminton- Li Yee can be a model for the sport cause when she plays, banyak gaya man, I’ve gotta catch her poses on camera one day…

Later tonight I’ve got a PKA Care Group dinner…I feel bad as I’ve missed several CG meetings, but honestly I don’t see myself as a CG kinda person…I don’t do CG’s, its just not me. Pity the leader, I hope she doesn’t take it personally when I decline outings sometimes, I just couldn’t be bothered. That, and I don’t really know them properly yet, and I’m always weary that CF people are nicey-nicey because they are obliged to be, and I’m obliged to be nicey-nicey back…

OH MY GOSH!
News just in : Khaleel is closed so we have NO food! Okay, out with the maggi mee then..

11.00pm
Argh! i kena con! it wasn't a CG Dinner, it was a full proper meeting! Eeeeeks, with singing and ice breaking and eating and all...
=p I'm terrible
But it wasn't so bad, painted our group's flag for the upcoming Captainball League. Our colours are Red, White and Black- pretty cool.
Will take time for me to get used to it la, the whole CG thing...
And Khaleel did open for the dinner crowd, and boy its crowded.

Joys of joy, i still cant upload the pictures, and i'm in a different cafe this time...
Just my "luck"

1984

i've been attempting to upload some pics, but obviously knowing my 'luck' its not working...bah, nevermind, i'll save them for next time

i'm physically tired, my legs are aching and i love it!
Today was the start of training for Temasya Olahraga Tahunan (T.o.T.) and i decided to join- 1.i'm interested 2.want to stay in the desa next sem,so i've gotta be somewhat active. Dunno yet what event i'll be taking, and i've not seriously ran in...ages! but still, i'll try my best.
Training was good fun- thankfully i'm fitter than most,so i'm somewhat comforted. Ended playing a catching game, quite a good way of making us run and sorta break ice and come together as a team...we were laughing our heads off cause the girls would scream if almost caught, and some tumbled over (not hurt) and all... i'm glad, cause i worried it'd be all sucky n bleh...

Yesterday was one of the most blissful Saturdays ever...
Except the morning annoyed me abit..went for a captain ball referee meeting, where we're briefed about the rules etc, and it took FOREVER! Why? Cause non-captain ball playing people just couldnt seem to get it, and kept coming up with scenario's that i (and other c-ball players) have never encountered...Because of that, some rules were changed, making it more complicating for both player and referee in my opinion. What irritated me was you dont change football rules,basket ball, golf... you except them, so why couldn't the original ones be accepted as put down by the head ref? i dunno la...

And second irritating thing, i couldn't donate blood, bloody hell...I wanted to go regularly every 3 months, but my book says twas last June when i donated. You know the initial prick of the finger, and they drop a drop to see if it sinks of floats...Well, mine hovered in the middle (why!?) and the guy said i couldnt...Grrrrrr....nevermind, got another one next week and they gave me pills- iron, Vitamines and all that lah. Will take them regularly for the whole week so they cant turn me down again!

The rest of the day was just a lazy Saturday...lying about with the girls reading.All of us doing the same thing, chit chatting from time to time; lazy to move even an inch, just reading and reading.managed to finish George Orwell's book : 1984 Darn bizarre, freaky book- he wrote it in the 30's about the future, how it might be like...i dont like the ending.

Basically, the story is like this: World split into 3 super powers, and at all times at war with each other. The main character (Smith) lives in London, and works for the government. Big Brother is the ruler, and his government controls everything; they have telescreen's in everyone's room watching and listnening to your every sound, to even think thoughts differently from the party puts you in a dangerous position.,children spy on their parents... The worst thing is, they can change history and make it as if it is as it is...Records are altered, and the lie becomes truth. They can erase someone's whole existance, and if they say there is no such person, there is no such person. it doesnt matter what your mind tells you, or your memories of anything; because there is no truth...only what Big Brother says is true. And if you think otherwise, you are vaporized. Well, Smith happens to have a mind and intelligence to not just swallow what they say and it all starts from there...a love affair, him joining the underground opposition, his arrest and the sad ending...Its a good book, i recommend readers to try getting your hands on it.

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH" Big Brother, 1984

"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows." Winston Smith, 1984

Photo's still cant upload.
8am class tmr...joy!

Smile

Yahoo!
The laptop is finally registered for USM's WiFi
Ever get the feeling like, things that can go wrong, just will go wrong?
After getting up early (when i didnt have to) and walking across campus in the morning sun (morning,afternoon,evening- all hot) got to the Pusat Computer. LUCKY i signed up for the 9.30 slot, cause i was the last to be seen, and then there was a campus gotong-royong that all staff had to go for. Off i went to the librbay to try it out, when-
*No Wireless Detected*

NOOOOOOOOOO!

It was working FINE in the Pusat Kom, why O why fail me now...
I always have such "luck"...Always...
So back i went to try and get it fixed, and everything was a mess, meaning the spring cleaning had started and they weren't layan-ing anyone... =( Thankfully, "luckily" the guy recognised me and asked what was wrong, and i told him la, with my limited com knowledge that it was registered to the Windows WiFi thingy, but the Asus wifi thingy automatically pops up and says cant detect. Simple problem, simple solution- SO the nice guy (;p) said okayla, start it up- he'll fix it (amidst all the clearing up) and he saved my computer...
Special treatment?
Where got!

But it pays to be friendly and polite and to smile...

Brighten up people's day, and they'll brighten up yours...

Back In Penang 2

Malaysians ARE helpful
(and SO Malaysian at the same time)

During dinner at Khaleel, behind me suddenly heard a loud enough *crunk* sound. Turned around to see a big MPV type car had gone too close to the drain, and one tyre fell in. Driver revved but couldn't get out. About 2seconds after the noise, everyone at the place turned to stare, and less than 2minutes later, a bunch of macho guys got up and went over to help the poor dude (family of 3 and pregnant wife standing helpless)
Tried again, reverse and they lift/push the car...Tak jadi- tonnes of smoke from the wheel though.
One more time! This time with some added guys and more lifting than pushing, and YIPEE! out came the tyre...
Everyone sitting was happy, the helping guys had a satisfied look on their faces and the unlucky dude was relieved.

Turns out though, the dude was trying to park his car, totally illegally, and thats why was trying to get as close to the drain as possible.
After getting outta the drain, he parks it and the family came to Khaleel to eat...
Man...So tak malu
I thought he had trouble with U-turning or something... So from 'poor thing', i was thinking 'padan muka'

Malaysians!
(yes,dont have to remind me that i am and proud to be)

Last time i uttered this, was after NC on the LRT back, and as usual- dumbo's dont realise that if you let people out first, it creates more space to get in. So anyways, that was the scene la, and i said to no one (but quite loudly) "Stupid Malaysians, always pushing to get in...let people out first!" My buddies laughed la, cause i meant it in an ironic way...Mana tau one woman near us overheard, and gave me an evil glare...Since we didnt make it into the lrt that time round, i was stuck with her staring at me and shooting the nasty look at me till the next one arrived...
She prob thought that i was some foreigner looking down on M'sia... Whoopsie!

Well, i'm back in Penang for good till CNY
8am class tomorrow, yucks... Early to bed for me!

Back In PJ

Happy New Year!!!

2 0 0 6 , here we come!

Yup, i'm home, leaving tomorrow at 10am. Tiring weekend man...
Friday night mum calls me and asks if i wanna come back for new year
YES !!!
Usually, my family tradition is to try our best to be together for countdown, and i missed last year cause of RBS, and i was v.sad to be missing it again.

Horrible journey to the bus station yesterday though; 7am bus- but being Saturday the Uni bus tak ada and so i left my room at 5.30am to walk across campus and attempt getting to the station by walking there. Thankfully according to one auntie i saw at the bus stop, she said the mini buses start at 6am...Half an hour later i was still waiting, no mini bus in sight...i was getting edgy... Plan B was to try and get a ride from a kind passing car, Plan C a taxi...Didn't use either plans, as the bus did come and i was saved.

Fast forward to 11+ and i was asleep on the couch...Woken by family, did the count down and we all went outside the house and watched the fireworks from Ikano.

I can't believe a year has gone past.
The way i keep track of time is be events that happened, and to me RBS doesn't seem like a whole year ago...Not at all!
Lets see, what happened through my year...

January:RBS...
Feb 14th - End of May Evangel
June : Fun month before uni & Lala Day
July : Shipped off to USM, settling in
Aug- November : Living the uni life
24th Nov : Said goodbye to my teen years forever
Dec : National Conference, Christmas

This is like the super short version, but i've not yet really sat down and thought much about 2005.
Of course a major highlight is me starting a relationship la, scary business... =p
But so far so good... (v.g. ,yay!)

When i have the time i'll probably do the whole reflection thing, but haven't had a quiet moment to myself yet.
Dunno how 2006 will treat me, or i it.
As i wrote this, the familiar words from a hymn was playing in my head:

Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

So very comforting.

Happy New year people, start it well...