Saturday, March 18, 2017

Bon Voyage

Feeling kinda sad that a friend, who happens to be my cousin, has moved away. It's a happy thing really because she's moving onto the next exciting phase in her life, but it feels so strange for me because she's been a big part of my 'Scotland' life.

She picked me up from the airport when I first came over for a visit at the end of October 2009 and we just clicked. It was fun getting to know her and managed to do fun things together - one of my happiest days on earth was going to Disneyland Paris with her, wedding days are so overrated. 😂

I doubt that this will change things drastically, at least I hope not. Only time will tell.

But I am so glad and happy that she is where she should be right now, she deserves all the good things that are coming her way.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017


Oh - has it come round again...? I think as my age increases, my lukewarm regard for Valentine's Day decreases. Since coming to the UK,  I look forward to the few days after it when the chocolates are reduced. I've never agreed with the price of flowers going up for one day and the expectation put on guys to buy them. One day where the expression of love is expected and acceptable. 

Which is fine really, but sad if so much hangs on the outcome of one day. What matters so much more are daily acts of Love - flowers whenever just because, making cups of tea, checking the tyre pressure, dealing with the big spiders (even with a mild fear of spiders), making up after an argument, saying sorry, laughing over nothing...

I guess V-day is the man-made chosen day when ♡ is highlighted, but all the other days of the year is making sure that  is filled ❤.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Cor 13:4-8

Monday, February 06, 2017

Another year

It's nothing new; time marches on and waits for no man. Life takes over and things that once had importance takes a back seat to current priorities. In a strange way it's nice that spaces such as this are able to hold on to existence even though its author has seemingly abandoned it.

2016 was a year that many would like to forget. Bad things happened, unexpected things happened. Good things happened too, but as usual the bad overshadows the good. From a personal view, it was the year my Ah-ma left this world. Getting the news of her passing left me in a sobbing mess, flying back for the funeral had me going through a range of emotions. Ironically, or sadly, during the funeral itself, I did not shed a tear. There was such a disconnect between the unintelligible chants of the monks, the paid-mourner, wailing for a woman she never knew and me - it was all empty, meaningless.

The close of the year took an unexpected life - a family friend I had known all my life, grew up with and was more like an uncle to me, passed away in seemingly the most pointless of ways. Falling off a ladder, falling to his death. Hanny's death had more impact on me than Ah-ma's - there's some expectation and understanding when an elderly, frail person goes yet it's sobering and alarming when someone whose time "has not yet come", comes. It is the cruel reminder that nothing in life is ever certain, no matter how much planning goes into it.

And still, time marches on - five months since Ah-ma, two months since Hanny. Time marches on.

2017 is meant to be the year I start my second chance at having a fulfilling productive life. I find myself wondering if the unpredictability of the year past will spill into the inevitability of the year present. It is times like this that I am thankful that I am able to take comfort in the words of the hymn:

Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand,
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand. 

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Blog more

I feel sad for my poor blog. Like many other blogs, it has been neglected and cast aside. Replaced by trendier online avenues or perhaps the writers are all too busy living life, instead of just writing about it.

Strangely I didn't bother thinking about any new years resolutions this year. Perhaps because i had too many other things on my mind, I just wanted 2012 to start as soon as possible.

I am now in Aberdeen, North East part of Scotland. Tomorrow I start a new job, a normal job, with normal working hours; which I am so thankful to have got. Over the weekend I moved into a room in a flat, sharing it with a yoga teaching granny landlady, a PhD student from Bulgaria and a quiet Scot I've yet to talk to properly. In time I will probably get to know them well, and hopefully they me.

One year.

This time last year I was waiting to be contacted about a job in London, things were unsure, relationships were uncertain. Its funny how things fall into place, or you think they don't fall into place but then you look back and realize how they actually do.

I'm really looking forward to this year.

Right now though, I'm trying to drink a cup of hot chocolate, thinking ironically that my hot chocolate is too hot to drink, and it's burnt my tongue.

Hate it when that happens.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Scent of a woman...

Very first proper perfume, feel quite grown up.

Friday, October 28, 2011

To Poke or not to Poke...

Facebook. It's a love/hate thing for me obviously. Sometimes I think it's more hassle than it's worth.

People wonder why I don't add people on Fb, in fact it's quite annoying how many people expect that I HAVE to add them just because they think I must.

No one really cares that the reason why I was forced into getting FB in the first place was so family and close friends could know what I'm up to here in Scotland, and it was an easy place to upload pictures for them to see. That is and has always been my primary reason for having FB.

I like my privacy. I don't like the idea of a person who doesn't speak to me on a normal basis, doesn't really care about how I am or hasn't even seen me for years wanting access into my life and what I do. That is simply called kay-por. Its fine if you are fine with that, but don't impose your ways onto me.

Furthermore, I don't understand why people take it so personally. If we are friends, then surely you should be confident to know that our friendship is not defined by Facebook. And whatever happened to a phone call or a text message or sending an email if you really want to find out what is happening in my life? How difficult is it to type an email as opposed to clicking onto a FB page. Sorry, it seems like a load of superficial crap to me. I don't want a Poke, a Poke means squat if that is all our friendship consists of.

Finally, I hate FB "etiquette"! If I don't Poke back means I'm ignoring someone. If someone comments on my comments I must Like it or else I'm being a snob. If someone Likes something I must comment on how much I like them liking what I like or else I'm not liked. Lol. I do not desire to be so bound by the rules of social networking.

What is a Poke; What is a Like - a click of a mouse in a world of clicking mice.

Now excuse me while I go check my FB page.