Hur hur hur...
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Journey
I go back to Penang tomorrow.
To those that i'll miss, be rest assured that i'm thinking of you
To those that i wont, i'll see you when i see you
To those that i never met up with, i'm sorry
To those i left with unfinished business, i didnt mean to
Its time for me to go.
To those that i'll miss, be rest assured that i'm thinking of you
To those that i wont, i'll see you when i see you
To those that i never met up with, i'm sorry
To those i left with unfinished business, i didnt mean to
Its time for me to go.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed...
This Sunday there will be a preview of one song from the Christmas piece. Since its just a sneak peek, we agreed to just dress normal. I suggested we all wear jeans, then there'd be some kind of uniformity.
The idea was immediately kicked out, and one of the reasons was "we want the choir to look like a choir."
What the squat? The current outfit we are wearing is so off and not at all 'choir-like' in my opinion. You say that jeans are a no no, but flowery wrap around skirts (the kind worn on the beach) are okay? To me they're at the same level.
When the decision to wear the skirts was made, i didn't get involved and accepted it, so i've no right to complain. But i was told next time i should speak out and voice my opinion blah blah... So i did that, and i knew it was no point, cause straight away a no, even though at least half prefered jeans.
I dont mind my idea being rejected, but to say no outrightly and things like, "dont look like a choir" and shaking a disapproving head like i said something so wrong. That i do not like. I fail to understand why wearing jeans would be seen as disrespectful, or not proper. I dont like it when things are automatically turned down with the "holy answer" but no explanation. Who set the church dress code anyway? What if i dont have 'formal' wear for the preview and what if all i had were jeans. Extreme example but, what if?
Aanother thing that irked me. If i didn't have or couldnt find the outfit, i was told "Go and buy lah..!" Yup, money grows on trees. It never crosses anyone's mind that its not so easy for others to just spend money ya know...Taken for granted that ''sure, everyone can afford to buy wat.." And put in that way, no person that couldn't afford to, would dare say so.
Someone told me its supposed to be a consensus choir.
Righttttt.
ps: I apologize for the grumbles. Who cares anyway, after all- its just clothes.
The idea was immediately kicked out, and one of the reasons was "we want the choir to look like a choir."
What the squat? The current outfit we are wearing is so off and not at all 'choir-like' in my opinion. You say that jeans are a no no, but flowery wrap around skirts (the kind worn on the beach) are okay? To me they're at the same level.
When the decision to wear the skirts was made, i didn't get involved and accepted it, so i've no right to complain. But i was told next time i should speak out and voice my opinion blah blah... So i did that, and i knew it was no point, cause straight away a no, even though at least half prefered jeans.
I dont mind my idea being rejected, but to say no outrightly and things like, "dont look like a choir" and shaking a disapproving head like i said something so wrong. That i do not like. I fail to understand why wearing jeans would be seen as disrespectful, or not proper. I dont like it when things are automatically turned down with the "holy answer" but no explanation. Who set the church dress code anyway? What if i dont have 'formal' wear for the preview and what if all i had were jeans. Extreme example but, what if?
Aanother thing that irked me. If i didn't have or couldnt find the outfit, i was told "Go and buy lah..!" Yup, money grows on trees. It never crosses anyone's mind that its not so easy for others to just spend money ya know...Taken for granted that ''sure, everyone can afford to buy wat.." And put in that way, no person that couldn't afford to, would dare say so.
Someone told me its supposed to be a consensus choir.
Righttttt.
ps: I apologize for the grumbles. Who cares anyway, after all- its just clothes.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Less than 2cents
There is only so much that a person can take. But the only way to know where that limit is, is to be pushed beyond it.
How ironic.
I sometimes wish i was a simple person. I see simple people going through life, so. . . easily. Yes yes, dont judge a book by its cover, still waters run deep...blah blah... Shut up. It is what i think, my perspective, my point of view. There are simple people in this world. And its like, they dont have to think so much in life, life just goes on. Like the song.
I wonder myself if what i'm choosing is wise. Knowing the possible outcome. Its Hope again, that agonizingly precious thing that can both make and break. Hope is something that i cant ever shut out when i'm not wanting it the most. When i want to hope, i dont have it the same way as when i dont want to hope, and it comes in strong.
I've got to get my head on straight. See things clearly. But do i want to...
Do you know why i dislike getting older?
Because the decisions we have to make as we age become more and more significant ones. Things that effect life in the bigger picture.
I'm not trivializing the other stuff when i was younger and writing them off as nothing, for example choosing Arts or Science. Sounds 'small' to me [now]. I dont even recall putting much thought or effort or whatever into it. Quite easy to choose. I didn't feel troubled.
For some time now, i've been beyond the age where i can be excused from the bad choices i make, or where someone else can smooth things over for me. I cannot plead ignorance, for it is my fault if i am. I cannot run under the protection of parents or else i'll remain a kid forever.
Faced with having to decide, i have to think things through carefully. The kind where you feel burdened and mull over it long and hard. I am responsible for my own actions, and therefore i have to live with the outcomes of what i choose.
There are no answers given. Only after you choose the road will you know, "uh oh, that was way wrong" or "good choice". Obviously though, when you make a decision, at that moment you think its the best one to make.
From what i gather of Life though, i've realized i'll probably never be happy in the way i want. The perfect happiness is not induced but exists from within. The worst is one that requires effort, believing a lie, but knowing deep down its a shadow of the real deal.
No one can be blamed though, for believing a lie they never knew was not true.
How ironic.
I sometimes wish i was a simple person. I see simple people going through life, so. . . easily. Yes yes, dont judge a book by its cover, still waters run deep...blah blah... Shut up. It is what i think, my perspective, my point of view. There are simple people in this world. And its like, they dont have to think so much in life, life just goes on. Like the song.
I wonder myself if what i'm choosing is wise. Knowing the possible outcome. Its Hope again, that agonizingly precious thing that can both make and break. Hope is something that i cant ever shut out when i'm not wanting it the most. When i want to hope, i dont have it the same way as when i dont want to hope, and it comes in strong.
I've got to get my head on straight. See things clearly. But do i want to...
Do you know why i dislike getting older?
Because the decisions we have to make as we age become more and more significant ones. Things that effect life in the bigger picture.
I'm not trivializing the other stuff when i was younger and writing them off as nothing, for example choosing Arts or Science. Sounds 'small' to me [now]. I dont even recall putting much thought or effort or whatever into it. Quite easy to choose. I didn't feel troubled.
For some time now, i've been beyond the age where i can be excused from the bad choices i make, or where someone else can smooth things over for me. I cannot plead ignorance, for it is my fault if i am. I cannot run under the protection of parents or else i'll remain a kid forever.
Faced with having to decide, i have to think things through carefully. The kind where you feel burdened and mull over it long and hard. I am responsible for my own actions, and therefore i have to live with the outcomes of what i choose.
There are no answers given. Only after you choose the road will you know, "uh oh, that was way wrong" or "good choice". Obviously though, when you make a decision, at that moment you think its the best one to make.
From what i gather of Life though, i've realized i'll probably never be happy in the way i want. The perfect happiness is not induced but exists from within. The worst is one that requires effort, believing a lie, but knowing deep down its a shadow of the real deal.
No one can be blamed though, for believing a lie they never knew was not true.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Ciaoz
Its 5 in the morning, and i'm off.
Back to Penang.
Not emo cause its only for a day, i'll be back tomorrow.
Reason being an uncle of mine from the UK coming for a short visit and choir practice.
Registration, here i come.
Back to Penang.
Not emo cause its only for a day, i'll be back tomorrow.
Reason being an uncle of mine from the UK coming for a short visit and choir practice.
Registration, here i come.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Casino Royale
We all know that the new Bond show came out, and my opinion of it is that its pretty good. Even though i initially thought the 'new' Bond would be... bleh, turns out he's alright. Grows on you.
But after watching, it lead to discussions about poker. Specifically, How to play Poker.
In the movie, it just looks so sophisticated and attractive, with the exception of the bleeding eye.
So the other night, 4 of us played.
Was the first time for Chris and I. We were fumbling through the inital rounds, but eventually got the hang of it.
I must say though, that our version was way more intense than what Bond went through. Instead of playing for money, we played to not have to eat the leftovers which was a whole load of :
Basically, we all started with -10, and had to come up from that. The winner of the round minuses off what his winnings were, while the losers gotta count their loses and convert them to satay sticks.
Know the fancy chips Bond uses, and how they toss them into the middle of the table?
Well, we had ours,
We played till 5.30am, and the last round was the most kan cheeong of all. This was the scenario, Chris down by bout 100+, Sam down by a few, Jo up by 300+ and i was down by 40. I folded with my lau-yah cards and watched the action.
Its darn funny to see how it all went on, with the "poker faces" and we all suddenly have PhD's in Psychology, where we analyze every blink.
The last bet was the Big Kahuna, of 300...! What would you do if you had these cards below...
Is the guy on the left bluffing or does he have something...
...turns out he did, and thus changing Jo's +300 to a -144...
Since we are people of our words, we ate.
The breakdown was,
Me - 8 sticks
Jo - 16 sticks
Chris - 51sticks
But after watching, it lead to discussions about poker. Specifically, How to play Poker.
In the movie, it just looks so sophisticated and attractive, with the exception of the bleeding eye.
So the other night, 4 of us played.
Was the first time for Chris and I. We were fumbling through the inital rounds, but eventually got the hang of it.
I must say though, that our version was way more intense than what Bond went through. Instead of playing for money, we played to not have to eat the leftovers which was a whole load of :
Basically, we all started with -10, and had to come up from that. The winner of the round minuses off what his winnings were, while the losers gotta count their loses and convert them to satay sticks.
Know the fancy chips Bond uses, and how they toss them into the middle of the table?
Well, we had ours,
We played till 5.30am, and the last round was the most kan cheeong of all. This was the scenario, Chris down by bout 100+, Sam down by a few, Jo up by 300+ and i was down by 40. I folded with my lau-yah cards and watched the action.
Its darn funny to see how it all went on, with the "poker faces" and we all suddenly have PhD's in Psychology, where we analyze every blink.
The last bet was the Big Kahuna, of 300...! What would you do if you had these cards below...
Is the guy on the left bluffing or does he have something...
...turns out he did, and thus changing Jo's +300 to a -144...
Since we are people of our words, we ate.
The breakdown was,
Me - 8 sticks
Jo - 16 sticks
Chris - 51sticks
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Heart Song
Chris is playing the piano behind me.
The tune is so sad sounding.
Whenever i listen to instrumentals, if i'm free and can focus, i'll try and think up a story to suit the music. Or rather, the music is telling me a story.
Right now, its a sad story. Like, of a young man that never approached the love of his life, and then spends the rest of his life in regret for that one moment when everything was perfect for him to let her knows how he felt, but let that moment slip by. And years later he's alone walking down the street during autumn, resigned to not having any partner in his life other than her, cause he knows she was the one.
Jiwang...
The tune has changed. Now its about a girl whose heart has been shattered into a million pieces and she's afraid because she's faced with a guy who is caring and looks into her heart and knows she's hurting. She's afraid to open up and risk the chance of the past repeating itself. He just smiles at her and for that moment they are both comfortable and secure, blissful.
The power of music.
The tune is so sad sounding.
Whenever i listen to instrumentals, if i'm free and can focus, i'll try and think up a story to suit the music. Or rather, the music is telling me a story.
Right now, its a sad story. Like, of a young man that never approached the love of his life, and then spends the rest of his life in regret for that one moment when everything was perfect for him to let her knows how he felt, but let that moment slip by. And years later he's alone walking down the street during autumn, resigned to not having any partner in his life other than her, cause he knows she was the one.
Jiwang...
The tune has changed. Now its about a girl whose heart has been shattered into a million pieces and she's afraid because she's faced with a guy who is caring and looks into her heart and knows she's hurting. She's afraid to open up and risk the chance of the past repeating itself. He just smiles at her and for that moment they are both comfortable and secure, blissful.
The power of music.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
*Woof*
Considering once i go back to uni i'll be tv-less, i've been stocking up on the idiot box so i'll survive the next semester. Have always been meaning to catch this movie, sadly timing always tak ngam. Finally today i was in the right place at the right time for :
And i enjoyed it very much...Yeah yeah, it's a romantic comedy but before saying "Ugh, they're all the same and fake..bla bla.." this one is the same but different, and since pretty much every movie is fake, who cares?
Besides, it has this plus point
*semi swoon*
Even knowing that i know i know how the endings will be, i'll still watch these kinda movies. And what i liked about Must Love Dogs was the interaction between the 2main characters, and the family scenes.
The dialogue is great, and there are several lines that were mini-bombs
Carol: Where are your boob shirts?
[holds up Sarah's sweaters]
Sarah: What?
Carol: Your *boob* shirts!
Christine: Don't worry, I brought some of mine!
Jake: i think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause thats the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place
Jake: It's a long story, something about the violation of expectations and a crushing loss of faith, and love, and life, and art.
Bill: So it's a girl?
Jake: Yes.
Bill: I've had a little bit of girl trouble myself lately. But it is better to have loved and lost, am I right?
Jake: She was a unique constellation of attributes; she was my Hallie's comet. But the universe is designed to break your heart, right?
Bill: A philosopher as well as an artist, yes, it is we who suffer most.
Jake: Yes, with the possible exception of the victims of violent crime
Wah. How come in reality i never hear guys coming up with those types of lines - She was a unique constellation of attributes; she was my Hallie's comet. *melt*
There was a nice part where the father recites a poem of William Butler Yeats called
Brown Penny
I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
O, if only i could recite power poems that can suit the moment. Sure blow everyone away...
Or at least the 1/4 that understand la...
And i enjoyed it very much...Yeah yeah, it's a romantic comedy but before saying "Ugh, they're all the same and fake..bla bla.." this one is the same but different, and since pretty much every movie is fake, who cares?
Besides, it has this plus point
*semi swoon*
Even knowing that i know i know how the endings will be, i'll still watch these kinda movies. And what i liked about Must Love Dogs was the interaction between the 2main characters, and the family scenes.
The dialogue is great, and there are several lines that were mini-bombs
Carol: Where are your boob shirts?
[holds up Sarah's sweaters]
Sarah: What?
Carol: Your *boob* shirts!
Christine: Don't worry, I brought some of mine!
Jake: i think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause thats the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place
Jake: It's a long story, something about the violation of expectations and a crushing loss of faith, and love, and life, and art.
Bill: So it's a girl?
Jake: Yes.
Bill: I've had a little bit of girl trouble myself lately. But it is better to have loved and lost, am I right?
Jake: She was a unique constellation of attributes; she was my Hallie's comet. But the universe is designed to break your heart, right?
Bill: A philosopher as well as an artist, yes, it is we who suffer most.
Jake: Yes, with the possible exception of the victims of violent crime
Wah. How come in reality i never hear guys coming up with those types of lines - She was a unique constellation of attributes; she was my Hallie's comet. *melt*
There was a nice part where the father recites a poem of William Butler Yeats called
Brown Penny
I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
O, if only i could recite power poems that can suit the moment. Sure blow everyone away...
Or at least the 1/4 that understand la...
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Big Bro
When: a Wednesday About 2months ago
Where: Birdcage, USM
Who: Me, K- & W-
How: Pen, paper, a stamp and 3 creative brains
What: We read Youth Big Bro and decided to write in with our own fabricated problem.
Why: We were bored
Yesterday in The Star, it came out, and is the chosen one to be discussed on air, red 104.9 Sunday at noon.
I dunno how to put in links to the online Star one, but its entitled Torn Between Two Guys.
So was it a bad thing to do? My mom says i was robbing someone who actually has a problem the chance for help.
It was likened to prank calling Befrienders and telling them you want to comit suicide.
Sigh.
I can't see what's the big deal, and i can justify it in so many ways. But maybe that's the problem.
Where: Birdcage, USM
Who: Me, K- & W-
How: Pen, paper, a stamp and 3 creative brains
What: We read Youth Big Bro and decided to write in with our own fabricated problem.
Why: We were bored
Yesterday in The Star, it came out, and is the chosen one to be discussed on air, red 104.9 Sunday at noon.
I dunno how to put in links to the online Star one, but its entitled Torn Between Two Guys.
So was it a bad thing to do? My mom says i was robbing someone who actually has a problem the chance for help.
It was likened to prank calling Befrienders and telling them you want to comit suicide.
Sigh.
I can't see what's the big deal, and i can justify it in so many ways. But maybe that's the problem.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
"Word of wisdom" on how to speak to a girl
Dont talk to her breasts. Always look into her eyes and keep eye contact. It shows that you're interested in what she's saying.Then let your eyes travel down to her lips, it means your listening to what she says, not just hearing.Finally take a quick glance down at her cleavage, to acknowledge that you appreciate her taking the trouble and care to dress up for you.
-J, my guy friend who believes what he read in a mens magazine-
What a load of nonsense.
But if anyone does try it, please let me know how it goes... =p
This is unrelated to the title. For some reason everytime i watch House,
<--Dr. Gregory House
he reminds me of
<--Weng Soon
*shrugs*
-J, my guy friend who believes what he read in a mens magazine-
What a load of nonsense.
But if anyone does try it, please let me know how it goes... =p
This is unrelated to the title. For some reason everytime i watch House,
<--Dr. Gregory House
he reminds me of
<--Weng Soon
*shrugs*
Sunday, December 03, 2006
I feel crappy
I'm sick and tired and sad.
Not the best of combinations.
Just want it all to go away.
I tried to sleep, but it was the worst two hours of tossing and turning, getting like, 5seconds of sleep between each toss and turn. My brain was hyper awake and thoughts of the past few days kept playing in my head, wondering if i'm actually happy. Not only that, the choir songs also were being repeated mentally. Imagine "Glo- o -ria....." on Repeat x25. So bloody annoying. To the point of me wondering if it would be better to just get a sudden illness and die. Or get banged by a car.
Not that i'm suicidal, never have been. I'm just;
Sick and tired and sad.
Not the best of combinations.
Just want it all to go away.
I tried to sleep, but it was the worst two hours of tossing and turning, getting like, 5seconds of sleep between each toss and turn. My brain was hyper awake and thoughts of the past few days kept playing in my head, wondering if i'm actually happy. Not only that, the choir songs also were being repeated mentally. Imagine "Glo- o -ria....." on Repeat x25. So bloody annoying. To the point of me wondering if it would be better to just get a sudden illness and die. Or get banged by a car.
Not that i'm suicidal, never have been. I'm just;
Sick and tired and sad.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Birds of a feather
Usually people keep dogs, cats, fish...The normal stuff.
Jungle Lodge has a pair of really cool birds - geese.
Now, geese are very aggresive animals, and whenever anyone approached, they got all riled up, made loud 'honking' noises (which means, "back off!") and charged.
One male and one female.
Like an old married couple, they waddle around the campsite together. I rarely saw one without the other. Only after someone pointed it out, i realized that when people went near, and they felt threatened, it was the male that would rush forward and attack, to protect his mate. He jaga her. And although some campers almost got pecked, it was so nice of him.
One night when i was outside the meeting hall alone, i saw the shadow of the two, waddling across the grassy field. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, my gaze followed their steady pace. Left, right...left, right...left, right...Suddenly, one stopped and started pecking at the ground (i assume found a worm?) but the other didnt notice and kept going till a few paces later. When (s)he did realize, (s)he abruptly halted, didn't budge till the other was done, caught up and then they continued their walk together.
It was a grin moment for me.
Jungle Lodge has a pair of really cool birds - geese.
Now, geese are very aggresive animals, and whenever anyone approached, they got all riled up, made loud 'honking' noises (which means, "back off!") and charged.
One male and one female.
Like an old married couple, they waddle around the campsite together. I rarely saw one without the other. Only after someone pointed it out, i realized that when people went near, and they felt threatened, it was the male that would rush forward and attack, to protect his mate. He jaga her. And although some campers almost got pecked, it was so nice of him.
One night when i was outside the meeting hall alone, i saw the shadow of the two, waddling across the grassy field. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, my gaze followed their steady pace. Left, right...left, right...left, right...Suddenly, one stopped and started pecking at the ground (i assume found a worm?) but the other didnt notice and kept going till a few paces later. When (s)he did realize, (s)he abruptly halted, didn't budge till the other was done, caught up and then they continued their walk together.
It was a grin moment for me.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Tracking the Monster
Today is World AIDS Day
What does this mean to me or you?
I can honestly say its not something that i've seriously thought about, worried about, or even associated myself with because i dont have it, nor do i know anyone personally who does.
AIDS has always been taught to be something primarily spread by having sex, which is true. So the 'simple' answer is dont have sex and you'll be spared. Yes, sounds like a simple answer, but it is not so simple when more and more people seem to be gettin it on, even in our 'conservative' Asian countries. I dont think rich college kids from middle class society ever worry about contracting AIDS when they make the decision to sleep with someone, they're more worried about pregnancy and thats why they wear a condom. Even so, having so called safe sex does not give 100% guarantees.
AIDS is one of those things that only pops up when we see stuff in the media, a song on the radio and we tell ourselves "It'll never happen to me." Like striking the lottery. We pity those that do suffer, and life goes on. It shouldn't be that way.
Watching documentaries, reading articles and being educated, puts things into perspective.
I'm not a saint, nor daring enough to say i'm gonna do something big or wow, but i must always remind myself to remember.
Remember to be thankful for the little things.
Remember those who go without.
Remember the people less fortunate than me.
We know all this.
We just tend to forget to remember.
If you can, watch a program on MTV called Tracking the Monster.
For more info:
http://www.worldaidsday.org/
-Every 6 seconds a person is infected with HIV-
What does this mean to me or you?
I can honestly say its not something that i've seriously thought about, worried about, or even associated myself with because i dont have it, nor do i know anyone personally who does.
AIDS has always been taught to be something primarily spread by having sex, which is true. So the 'simple' answer is dont have sex and you'll be spared. Yes, sounds like a simple answer, but it is not so simple when more and more people seem to be gettin it on, even in our 'conservative' Asian countries. I dont think rich college kids from middle class society ever worry about contracting AIDS when they make the decision to sleep with someone, they're more worried about pregnancy and thats why they wear a condom. Even so, having so called safe sex does not give 100% guarantees.
AIDS is one of those things that only pops up when we see stuff in the media, a song on the radio and we tell ourselves "It'll never happen to me." Like striking the lottery. We pity those that do suffer, and life goes on. It shouldn't be that way.
Watching documentaries, reading articles and being educated, puts things into perspective.
I'm not a saint, nor daring enough to say i'm gonna do something big or wow, but i must always remind myself to remember.
Remember to be thankful for the little things.
Remember those who go without.
Remember the people less fortunate than me.
We know all this.
We just tend to forget to remember.
If you can, watch a program on MTV called Tracking the Monster.
For more info:
http://www.worldaidsday.org/
-Every 6 seconds a person is infected with HIV-
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