Amazing love...

Mother’s day…Oh how I long for the days where all I had to do was make some burnt toast, weak tea, serve the barely edible breakfast in bed along with a crayon scribbled card…and voila! Then there’s the whole, “I love you mom”, followed by a hug n a kiss….I’ll see the smile on my mum’s face, and I’ll be so proud of what I did… Sigh.
Kodak moment

Now its, “oh no…what am I gonna get her this year?!?” Well, not really. I usually know exactly what she would like, but it’s not the same as the child-like enthusiasm from the past. And even in saying the three words, I feel ashamed, cause I realize all the times I’ve said and thought mean things, hurt her, behaved horribly, and just plain not deserved to be her daughter. All the screaming matches...Slammed doors...Tears...

Everyone has a story to tell. I’m amazed at my mom, her life, her struggles…her strength. I’m amazed at how she brought me up to be who I am now... And I’ve thought before, and even now, that if/when I ever have children, I’m afraid I’ll never be able to do as good a job as my mom did for me and my bro…
People always say you’ll end up just like your mother.
I say, if I do, then I’m lucky.

In the end, spent the day doing some of the chores, and helping her (as much as I could) with her annual sales report for work...most BORING n tedious work, dunno how she can do it… For dinner, we ordered in Swedish food, n mom, dad, Cam n me sat round the tv, eating and watching the F1…almost a Kodak moment.

Except in the end I still feel like a crap daughter. Ugh.