Wasted time

Its good to have my friend back.
So so so so so so very good.
For almost the whole semester, i did not.
We had fallen into a dead silence.
Neither budging, moving, trying.
Fake smiles and forced talk.
Unnaturally holding back.
And it hurt even more for we saw each other every day.
Nobody noticed or could tell anything was amiss.
We were great actors.
All the while i just hoped he was doing alright.
I thank God, for those in his life,
Who were there for him when i was not.
I am ashamed that it took so long, for me to swallow my pride.

More than once i had Matt 5:23-24 haunting me: Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Still i was stubborn.
As if i can run from God.
I sometimes tell myself i can though.
I'm hiding among the trees.

So i was a hypocrite.
Not walking the talk.
Till i couldn't take it anymore.
One night the weight was unbearable.
I had nothing to lose.

And now i've got my friend back.

Thats what happens when i dont do what i know i must.
I suffer, when the path of happiness was there all along.



To my Teddy Bear Friend:



I've missed you!