Recently when i was talking to a pal about dating, he told me this:
i dont give ugly girls a chance.sorry.nor do many guys, whether they admit it or not.hey it sucks and it aint ideal
When i asked some others, someone did say he somewhat agreed. Darn it man...Are we girls to never get a break? Will this mentality go on forever and ever and ever and ever...It wont change by 2020 that's for sure. What gets me peeved the most, is now everything can be reasoned out/justified by saying things like "Oh, guys are built like that. Its their natural whatever to go after a physically attractive female as opposed to a non physically attractive one." Bullocks. I find guys who use that excuse, the guys who have brains are even worse than those that can't explain themselves. Why? Cause, that means you know why you do it, and yet conciously dont do anything to break free from that mindset. I dont buy stuff like, "Oh..i'm a guy.its not something that can be changed..." It can be changed.
Its a choice.
Another recent example that saddened me was how this guy, Yogi after nearly 3years in a relationship, starts harping on to his girlfriend, Cindy about her weight. Now the thing is, when he went into the relationship Cindy was the same size she is now and back then, he told her it doesnt bother him at all. Awwww, such a sweetie! Then half a year ago the comments start about what she's eating, what she wears, how she should lose weight....WTH?!? So, to try and make things better Cindy actually did make an effort to get more active and excercise. But she's naturally voluptous and will never be the skinny type Yogi seems to want. (Unless of course she stops eating and drinks only water all day, then can la...) Its nothing to do with his concern for her health, its totally just about looking thinner. Funny thing is, i never saw her as fat. Heck, if she's fat then i'm fat too! *Oh no, excuse me while i go stick my finger down my throat...*
Everytime i lepak with the guys, there's always a point where they talk about hot chicks, even if only for a moment, it must be mentioned. And there's a way that they say it...Its not in a normal, casual tone, "Ya know so-n-so...?She's hot. " But there's full emphasis on the words, particularly dragging the word hot. Know what i mean? "Oh yeah man, she's so hotttt!" I'm left sitting there going- Err.....So....? I really dunno what to say to them. Maybe i should act like a stereotyped dumb jock, nod my head and say "Yeah man, yeah man..." Its as if, by having the hotttt status, the girl is godified- put up there with Ronaldinho, DotA and Ferrari. Whatever man...
But it does get to me. How can it not? You sit with people that rave on and one about how attractive someone is, and i'm there with a pimple on my chin, messy hair, far from slim body. What kinda message does that send to me...(even though guys aren't even aware they send it) And how on earth can i build up on my own self confidence, when there's no way of escaping this sorta nonsense...?
I hope there'll never be a day when i'm in a relationship where i think my partner feels i'm ugly, or worse- he makes me feel that i'm ugly...
6 comments:
Hey Shel...
Seriously. Very seriously, I do not think that you're fat at all! In fact I think that you're quite attractive! xP
Seriously again. I for one only agree on half of what's observed. I agree that guys like to spot hot chicks, but when it comes down to really dating them, or choosing to fall in love with them, that's another thing altogether. Believe me, that's how many OTHER girls out there got their husbands, and i assure you, vice versa.
Cheers!
Sorry Shel... I don't think we males can ever shake away being jerks when it comes to hot women. For those who tight-lip who do not comment about hot girls, I bet they do think about them in their heads.
By the way, don't tell me you girls do not think or comment about hunks as well.
Still, I apologise on behalf on my dum-witted species, as I do think that many, if not most males, are real dumb these days.
"...I find guys who use that excuse, the guys who have brains are even worse than those that can't explain themselves..."
Agreed!
1. Guys who dunno why they like to look at hot chicks = dumb.
2. Guys who are bubbling with lust inside their heads but don't publicly comment them = not so dumb. At least they know what's their problem.
3. Guys who are bubbling with lust inside their heads AND publicly comment about them = lagi dumb. They know what's their problem, and they are not aware of the far-reaching implications of letting those thoughts be heard, both to himself and to his hearers.
4. Guys who know they have a problem with assigning too much value to physical attraction, but refuses to take responsibility for it = paling dumb. I share your disgust, Shelby.
I believe in beauty. I believe it should be appreciated in its highest value. But I don't believe in just using limited vocabulary like "hot" and "chun". 3-letter words like those don't suffice to measure beauty. On the contrary, it downgrades it. It boxes beauty up.
The best kind of "hot-ness" is the kind where a person's personality is the channel that exudes beauty. It amplifies whatever physical beauty a person already has.
While it's a good thing to admire physical beauty, be careful lest you degrade the value of beauty itself. Putting undue emphasis on physical beauty is one of the ways.
I think guys who are engrossed about making their girlfriends look pretty and slim should just go for botox-injected dummies.
Great... landed on minsunderstanding over the things I wrote... guess have to sweep up my trash.
Comment does not mean speaking explicitly about eroticism. Dropping a line 'she's hot', she has sexy hair' is also a comment, non-degrading.
Reference to males being dumb = the overall poor performance of the male species in the country, on how so many women are so much smarter than many lazy men.
There's no reference or elucidation to anything 'lustful'.
So please, don't read and interpret something that is not there.
Wait a minute... I am making the same mistake, of being over-sensitive and reading into what's not there... Bah.
not bad, shel. you managed to start a guy-bashing comment-thread - by a group of guys!
Impressive - as usual!
Hmmm...maybe cause its the guys that need it the most from the guys, ya know?
Its a guys world.
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