Shelby, Shelby, Shelby.........

Yesterday was memorable. One of those days where i'll be remembering and laughing at myself for being such an idiot.
There are two stories.


No. 1

Since it was the last day of the DiGi spa, and my work there was ending, i was allowed to get a free full body massage session. So i opted for the aromatherapy oils massage. I was asked to change into a pair of shorts provided, leaving on only my underwear. Fine, no problem.
Once i was face down on the holey bed, she undid my bra and slipped my arms outta it. Fine, no problem.

However, i was not expecting what she did next. She suddenly pulled on the shorts till it went down all the way over my humps, exposing my lovely lady lumps...

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ok, ok ok, now's the time when you can hurl insults at my ignorance, but it WAS my first time going for a massage and no one had ever warned me about that before.
So there i was, lying stunned on the bed, really really shocked and thinking "Oh My God, is this normal?!?!?" with my bee-hind on display, when the second embarrassing thing happened. No, i didn't fart, although there were times during the whole process when she was 'kneading my buns', i did feel like farting..

She spoke t me in chinese "xi sher cha bu la la li li", obviously it was not that, but i no understanding. So i replied, "Hah? I donno... Cannot understand.." What did she do then ?!?!?! She PATTED my BUM and told me to RELAX ! ! ! ! ! Cause i was 'clenching', if you know what i mean. . . .

Oh My Goodness.... the horror. I was SO embarrassed. Thank God i'm face down. I then spent the next 5minutes in deep concentration, making sure my gluteus maximus was in a calm tranquil state.
I seriously thought the sections that would be massaged were above the waist band of the shorts, and below the end of the shorts. I was not, not, not expecting my rear to be pushed around like dough. However, i must say that once i was finally able to accept it, it was very relaxing and enjoyable, in a professional massage kinda way.


No. 2

There's seriously nothing much to do most of the time working there after the first few days, just wait for those who have made their appointments to come. So of course i would be checking out the guys who walk through the spa's doors, just outta sheer boredom. Of the whole 11days i worked there, only bout 5 caught my eye. And the last one that did, is my story no 2. Lets name said guy, Jack, since thats a very commonly used name to keep anonymity to the character.

So anyways, Jack went for a foot reflexology, he was last person in for the day, and i told my colleague Jasmine bout him and doing the usual giggly girl thing. Next thing i know, just as his massage is done, she walks up to him and CONVERSES with Jack....!!! Too Much! Bee-atch!
And what do i do ?

I bolted to the back of the hall, and hid in the storeroom.
*bows head in shame*

I then peeped out from behind, and didnt leave my hiding spot till i was sure that Jack had left.
Talk about P A T H E T I C man.... What gets me so annoyed is, i had every right, in my position there, to casually ask him stuff like, "Oh, did you enjoy the massage...Have you been before...How long have you beeen with Digi..." You know, those kinds. But noOOOooo...
I hide in a store room.

Not only that, the bee-atch betrayed my by telling him that "my friend says hi"!!!! Gahhhhhh! Who does that?!? So of course Jack's wondering who her friend is, and they look around and duh, i'm nowhere to be seen cause ?
I'm hiding in the store room.

i have no idea what possessed me, what evil Beelzebub took control and stole all my sanity away from me for those few moments. Seriously, i dunno why i was so scared. Not as if 1. i even knew the guy, 2. would ever see him again, 3. am a repulsive cockroach. So naturally, i spent the rest of the night kicking myself for being such a loser.

I'm a Dumbo.
I need to get guts.
Learn How to master the Art of Confidence.

Or at least not be so pathetic to go and hide in the store room, getting laughed at by Joseph Leong, computer geek.

Ish.