I started a joke...

What a week. I am a super pure Squat.
I am so glad that it's Sunday, and soon the week will be over.
Feel so drained, physically, emotionally, mentally...etc

I dunno why, but i see myself like the picture below. We all assume clowns are happy happy, energetic and cheery- after all, they are clowns.
But what i feel hidden behind the make-up there's sadness, each movement is forced, the smile is practiced.
There's no way to really tell what a clown is, beneath the colourful exterior.

You perform for other's satisfaction and they are disappointed.
You long for everyone to be happy and they walk away.
You make poodle baloons but its never enough, they want more. And more. And more.
You wish to be appreciated, but left feeling down.

My week has been one of the worst i've had in a long time. The kind that can go really up and all is great; and the downs where you just say "Life sucks" and cry yourself to sleep. Not wanting my roommate to know means swollowing my tears and silent sobs.

Two major-ish events that i've been focusing on, one being emcee for a christian even in uni and the other being in charge of organising a gathering for the ELLS Juniors & Seniors.

I dislike being mc. People usually end up pushing it onto me. And i know i'm not really good at it- say the wrong things and embarrass myself. First thing i forgot- to introduce myself. Not only that, it was the same day as when i was feeling very low...Seriously- bleh!

The next day was the Jr/Sr get together. Even that gave me so much grief cause some of my course mates, after telling me "Yes, sure i'll help and support it by coming" bailed out. To them, who had last minute pathetic reasons for not coming, i'd like to say- You suck. You really do.

But it was your own loss, cause we had lots of fun without you and it was probably better without your sour limau faces there anyway. Hurmph!

We played games, and mingled about. Halfway through some lecturers suddenly appeared (we weren't expecting them cause they had a staff meeting) but they were sporting and joined in the games as well. As usual, it ended with us having refreshments, the oh-so-standard mi hoon, karipap and kuih seri muka. Over budgeted though, and we had lots of left overs... (juniors all so shy-shy dowanna eat...ish ish ish)

*I have pictures but for some reason they cant be uploaded. Squat blogspot*

I seriously hope that next week will be better.