From the previous post i guess its quite blurry what happened. Well, after the operation, we thought he was getting better. On Friday evening, he took an unexpected turn for the worse- his kidney failed and there was fluid in his lungs. And so while the doctors got to work on him, the Ng family gathered at the hospital. It was a sad time...By night, doc said he had a 5% chance of surviving the night...The family were torn between sending him home to Sabak Bernam, or giving him the 5%...We gave him the chance, hoping that he'd pull through.
The next morning, when my grandma went to call his name, he opened his eyes once, and that was it; he went into a coma shortly after... With the family gathering once again, the decision was made to send him home by ambulance, so he'd arrive asap before he got worse. At Sabak, they took the ventilator off him, and 5mins later he was gone...In a way i'm glad i wasn't there, as it would've been so sad.
Past 3days i've been there for the prayers and funeral. The shophouse was totally cleared and my grandpa lying in the middle, fully covered with a red silk cloth cause the coffin hadn't arrived yet. That afternoon, everyone was busy doing stuff, there wasn't much sorrow. That night, the nicest thing happened.
As i was walking passed him, i saw a moth perched on his head. I was so stunned and just stood there smiling. Amazingly enough, i just told my cousin earlier to look out for a moth, cause it means he came back to see us. And there it was, standing so elegantly and steadily. That moth didn't budge till next morning about 9am. I'm not one that believes in this sorta stuff, but...it was nice.
We all laughed about it later cause Ah Kong is SUCH an impatient man, and he came back to see his coffin but it took so long to come that he beh-tahan and left... =) Thats my grandpa...He cant stand being away from home longer than 10minutes; last day in hospital he tried to pull off the thingy attached on his finger and told my father he was getting up, he wants to go home...Before that he drove everyone mad when he said he wanted to eat kono-mee (dunno how to spell) and we didn't know where to find it at that time of night...
Dunno what kind of funeral it was exactly, got all the chanting and praying stuff, lead by a woman who was speaking in classical hokkien so that barely anyone knew what was going on. We just simply follow only.
Ah Kong had 9 kids, 8boys and 1 girl- each of them got married and had kids, minimum 2each. There's just over 40 of us in total, all sons and daughter were there, but not all cousins could make it. I tell you, when the Ng family is gathered, we are a sight to see...The grandchildren all wore blue, and our parents white to show the ranking. His one great-granddaughter wore red. There was a squabble over the pants, because one auntie said MUST wear long pants, while another said shorts or 3/4 allowed...When in doubt, go to the highest authority- so ah ma was asked and she said "Can" so means can lah.
After the babble of unknown prayers, we sang him a song. Well, those that knew the song anyway and thankfully the musicians there knew it, a Hokkien one called "Mun Chun Hong" i think...It was our tribute to him, a more personal act of saying goodbye as that song has special meaning to us. Ah kong would sing it to my grandma whenever we're all gathered and if he's in a jolly mood. This time round, while it was being sung- everyone started crying, because he'll never sing us that song ever again...
Monday morning was the procession, i was so touched as many many people came to join and pay their last respects. Lots of people...ah kong was a well known man about Sabak, and well liked.
The only thing that got me so irritated is the fact that while the prayers are going on, its like a public display, invitation for ppl to stare at us while we walk around crying...I got slightly annoyed with the dumbo monkey idiotic ppl who said "Wah-even ang mor cry ar...?"
%!@#%&% ?!?!?
The bloody priestess or whatever was in my dad's car and she too commented on the same thing. My dad's relpy was the truth;
Because ah kong loved them.
Ah kong loved all of us.
He wasn't a grandpa that didn't care. When i was younger he'd bring me around Sabak on his old motorbike and show me the different places.
One thing i'm so glad happened, CNY when i went back early- one morning he took me and 2 cousins for breakfast. Not any old ordinary breakfast, he wanted to belanja us dim-sum and we went all the way to the next town, sadly couldn't find a shop. Its not what we ate, but his way of wanting to treat us and he wanted the best. So many memories of him...me and Ai Ni were his chang-chang koon grandaughters, forever naughty and doing silly things..
Ah kong came from China so many years ago, set up a living so he could bring ah ma over. He survived the war, and even did his part in helping the town against the Japs. He has never been a burden, an independant man up till he the day he couldn't walk well, and even then in hospital he had dignity.
He was a man much loved; because he did, in his own small simple ways, show love for others.
Bye ah kong, from me the chang-chang koon one
1 comment:
sorry to hear about ur ah kong. but im sure he was super proud of all of you and loved much, from what you write. inspiring man - that a 'chinapek' china man (from that era) was very unconventionally loving.
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