Men are from God knows where...

Excerpt of a chat with a male friend. You would need to know the story of Bridget Jones to understand some of what we're talking about. If you don't know Bridget, shame on you:


Me: nope, no fun at all.... Cause its not like you are Daniel Cleaver who flirts with her and leads her on

Dude: daniel cleaver?
who taht?

Me: he's hugh grant's character in Bridget Jones
scum but is the sexy scum

Dude: ahh, right. i remember
sexy but scum
hahahhaa
but he really likes her in the end!
was kinda rooting for him actly
firth is so
darcy
so boring
safe
dispassionate abit

Me: what NONSENSE

Dude: eh
wat

Me: he does NOT really like her in the end
where on EARTH did u get that

Dude: i am entitled to have an opinion
doesn't he?

Me: NOOOOOOOOOO

Dude: he fights for her wert

Me: he is scum through n through

Dude: didn't he run back to her?
and say like u know at the end of the day - we are meant to be
flawed as it may be
that they're meant to be?

Me: oh.my.goodness. You are a gullible GIRL! He said that just to get her to take him back
she was just his bus stop till someone else came aalong
i cannot believe u culd root for him
urgh

Dude: well from what i remember
in a sort of cynical damaged way
he made sense
and though it probly wasn't true love, it was somewhat functional
know wat i mean

Me: .........
i cannot believe u jus tsaid that
u suck

Dude: like a mutually detrimental relationship which still pulls thru
somehow
eh
wat the crap

Me: have u even watched the second movie?

Dude: can't remember

Me: Tsk tsk, if that is a reflection of ur true views

Dude: wat haapened?

Me: well, they end up working together
and have to go to thailand
where he tries to seduce her
brings her back to the hotel room all

Dude: ic

Me: but he has a Thai prostitute come

Dude: hmm...
i thot i saw it
can't recall la

Me: see, the problem is tho, IF he doesn't make it about his feelings, then its fine

Dude: right, but...

Me: but he tries to trick her into thinking he really loves her when he doesnt instead of just one night stand
scum
and you're on his side
SCUM

Dude: oh, right
maybe not the 2nd movie la
where he confirms to bridget that she made the right call

Me: Mark Darcey likes bridget jones,and the famous smile inducing, awwww inspiring, melt worthy line goes "I like you...just as you are"

Dude: but at the end of the 1st one, its still open as to whether he can change..

Me: urgh

Dude: oh pls

Me: please

Dude: bullcrap

Me: ur such a guy

Dude: wow

Me: typical guy

Dude: that's almost a compliment

Me: you wish

Dude: for me
eh most guys won't remember a thing
i rmember part 1
at leasy
leadt

Me: long ago i migh have thought you had a chance of not beinging such a typical guy, but i think no, you are just like the rest of them

Dude: not such a bad thing la
girls are typically girls too

Me: yeah.... the girls who can tahan typical guys..

Dude: nice/good guys finish last remember?

Me: and i do believe that there r girls around who are the type that typical guys need
nice guys finish last cause they r boring...
nice is not the reason

Dude: of course there are they're in the majority
exactly
u can't have it both ways

Me: they dont finish last because they r nice

Dude: nice guys are sage
safe

Me: mark Darcy did not finish last

Dude: safe = less edgy
= less dangerous
= less risk
= less unpredictable

Me: i wld choose Mark Darcy in a flash
heartbeat

Dude: = less spontaneous
= less adrenaline
= less physiological hormonnes
= less successful

Me: excuse me, Mark Darcy is spontaneous, edgy, takes risks, unpredictable

Dude: yea right

Me: plenty hormones, HE started the fight for her honous
swooon

Dude: and if he didn't look like colin firth and actly lost to hugh grant in a fight?

Me: doesnt matter!

Dude: like got beat up?
sorry
wish i could believe u
really

Me: oh,too bad u dont... if the guy lost in a fight he started to fight for me, i would SO clean his wounds
especially if the guy he was fighting was a guy i caught with another woman, fiance for that matter....

Dude: yea

Me: in case u dont remember, Bridget walks into the bathroom and a pretty, slim, american lady is there NAKED who turns out to be Daniel's fiance

Dude: but if he wasn't good looking like colin firth
wat abt the naked lady?
can't remember

Me: looks really dont matter that much.... if colin firth wasn't the CHARACTEr he was, he would not be that attractive
i mean, D-u-H...

Dude: but u have not addressed the poiny
point

Me: put Colin firth n Hugh grant, hugh grant is wayyyyyyyyyy better looking

Dude: if he had the same character minus the looks
of course
but colin is
presentable

Me: we r talking about character

Dude: can take out
no i am not
u are
colin looked like seth rogan

Me: aiyo, even looks, presentable is good

Dude: hah
with character

Me: a person who does not shower?
who is seth rogan?

Dude: u'd would NOT go got him

Me: i WOULD TOO

Dude: just think of a non-showering man

Me: true, non-showering for no good reason

Dude: if only girls could do wat they say

Me: or didnt brush teeth

Dude: watever

Me: or had 1 glass eye

Dude: bad looks

Me: eh, please la

Dude: imperfect hygiene
bad looks

Me: imperfect hygiene is ok so long as its not LAzy hygine
there is a difference

Dude: like borayt
borat!
how?

Me: and i cannot believe u can say i go for looks

Dude: nice character all that jazz

Me: i never saw borat

Dude: idiot
like mr bean
there u go u brit

Me: hello?!?! thats where things like compatibility n attraction do come in

Dude: no looks only

Me: there was that girl who loved MR Bean what

Dude: he doens't acy stupid
act
but just looks like him
nice guy

Me: he was just too dumb to realise

Dude: i mean YOU!!!
pls la

Me: hahahaha, ok ok

Dude: u're being a squat
colin firth is a myth

Me: Looks wise, i'm not so
bothered
i would love to get someone attractive
i wont lie,

Dude: that's why awesome great guys can be single while squattier ppl can be on the road to M...

Me: but i am grounded enough to know that substance is worth more than packaging

Dude: and u're going to give that crap abt chemistry and attraction
but that's just it
some guys are NOT as awesome as others

Me: hahahaha

Dude: less awesome ppl can generate attraction or chemistry better
coz its NOT about character

Me: no, i disagree

Dude: its about squattier things

Me: my cousin is married, she is younger than us by the way, and her husband is a nice, quiet man...
and he's lovely
i think we are on different levels

Dude: thats sweet, good for her

Me: and she loves him, not because he i edgy or good looking etc etc
If i were to meet someone , get to know the person, character def. is what i wld be attracted to
and its not like i'd be attracted just like that *snap fingers
i'd be even more weary and guarded if the person were attractive

Dude: that's the prob
the attraction bit
great that ur cousin saw/got past it
but to get to attraction without the friends thing getting in the way

Me: wahhhhhhhhh, what nonsesne "got past it"

Dude: that's the difficulty
no, not in the got past it like immune to the unsightliness of bald head

Me: thats where i say, if its meant to be, its meant to be

Dude: but it never got in the way?
haha
not sure how to explain

Dude: since chicks are all abt character
how come they don’t go for the nice guys?

Me: that s NOT what i said
i said, I - EYE - Me would rather go for characer

Dude: look even if u are not meant to be, doesn't mean its not possible to be attracted

Me: u give me a Mark Darcy or a Daniel Cleaver , i go for the mark Darcy

Dude:AN UGLY DARCY
WHO LOOKS LIKE MR BEAN

Me: can u even remember what [insert ex's name] looked like ar?
hahahaha
he is pretty unatractive
he was pudgy - or plump - or some say fat
he has really crooked teeth
he got small eyes

Dude: [insert ex's name]?

Me: so what's your point about me and looks?

Dude: see no character, no looks but not NICE guy
still can work
u're attracted to squats

Me: hahahahaha....how was [insert another name] a squat?

Dude: that's just it

Me: ur theory sucks

Dude: morons attract chivks
he was a squat
super squat

Me: WHAT?!?!?!

Dude: then he became WUSS
pussy
then died

Me: what about him was a squat?

Dude: a tragic death

Me: he was being 'honest'

Dude: in langkawi he was still a squat

Me: he was being daniel cleaver telling bridget straight up it was a onne night stand
he was NOT a squat in langkawi

Dude: then he turned pussy

Me: i'm sorry but ur wrong there

Dude: and did the public declatation
Declaration

Me: he never declaed anything, he just sang a song

Dude: just tragic la he
pls la

Me: you, my dear friend, are an idiot
u are talking rubbish

Dude: nope
u know somewhere i make sense
even tho i don't really know how
haha

Me: if i figure out where i'll let u know
but i doubt it
anyway, so what ur saying reinforces my current status
cause if YOU say that i am attracted to Squats, and i'm incapable of falling for a nice guy

Dude: pls la
getting stale
it was then

Me: then all the more its necessary for me to just stay away, cause i'm bound to fail anyhow

Dude: don't need to prove me right like tha
that
and then?
for how long?
then wat happens?

Me: because the Squat guy that i'm attracted to will eventually show his true colours n then all is lost

Dude: don't be a chicken

Me: hahaha
what chicken
smart

Dude: yea, that's when u hope he's not too hypocritical
so at least the deal didn't change

Me: i gtg now, dinner ready

Dude: the scary ones are the ones who put on a show
like rihanna says
hahha

Me: and i still stand by what i said
you are an idiot

Dude: bye

Me: bye