My grandmother has jumped on the bandwagon of asking the usual CNY question-
"So, got boyfriend or not?"
All this time she's been telling me there's no need to think about such things, finish your studies first...
Amazingly the first CNY after I graduate she starts with the questions.
But what saddens me is when she said, "Make sure you find a Chinese guy..."
When she said that I had to just grin and change topic, but I was affected by it because, what does that actually mean?
Coming from mixed parentage, it hurts more when people specify what particular race 'should' be got, for what does that say about the other half of me? Can't they see, in me, that it doesn't matter? Or did I not turn out right enough for this 'race'.
With me as the product of an interracial marriage, this living example seems to have failed.
Sometimes I feel like an outcast.
Mixed blood.
I grieve for the part of Me, brushed aside and ignored.
Even by Me.
1 comment:
wei don't let her comments get to you. people are a product of their environment and inevitably the older generation of chinese especially, carry a lot of baggage. nonetheless, i am very sure they still love you for who you are.
one thing i know for sure, in the future i will make sure my children know they are loved regardless of the colour of their skin, and I will do all I can to make sure they too will learn to love others colour-blind.
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